I mean, I know it's not the end of the world. There are FAR worse things I've gone through - even recently - that don't affect me this bad.
But having a friend tell me I'm "horribly toxic" and basically dropping me from his life hurts like hell. Having a friend that I THOUGHT cared about me, that I THOUGHT I could trust, do that to me - well, that hurts more than I can put into words.
I know I'm better off without them in my life. They are negative and toxic themselves. But it's hard to go from trusting someone to having them do that.
Have you guys ever had anybody do that to you?
I'm stronger than this. I know I will be fine. Just gotta let the initial shock of the whole thing wear off. Cause it took me by total and complete shock.
At least I still have amazing friends and family who support me. Amazing friends and family who don't think I'm toxic. That one person doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Not even one little bit. But that doesn't make the whole thing any easier.
Just trying to find something to keep me occupied and distracted till the pain wears off. It's easier said than done though, cause the things that usually do it for me aren't right now. And that's annoying, heh. Maybe I'll just hide in my room and color or something. Sometimes that helps.
Right now though, I think I'm gonna go work on my kitchen. It's a mess, and we've got friends coming over Sunday to play a game. I'm gonna needs it for snacks and stuff, lol. But oy, I'm exhausted already and I haven't even started. Stupid emotional crap wears me out more than physical crap most days. I think I just need to scream. Yeah, I think that's it.
Oh well, life goes on.
LATER TATER
LYNZ
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