My response

To some of the most common responses to depression

 

JUST GET OVER IT

if it were that easy don't you think I would have already

 

THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE SICKER THAN YOU WHO DON'T CRY AND COMPLAIN

Yes, but they aren't me.  What I'm dealing with right now makes me cry and complain, but not because I'm weak or looking for attention.  So please, stop saying that.

 

YOU SHOULD GET OUT MORE

Easier said than done when everything in the world seems wrong

 

YOU'RE JUST LAZY

Um, ok. Sure. I don't do ANYTHING all day long but lay around and feel sorry for myself.  Asshole!

 

IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD

That may be, but remember what Dumbledore said in Harry Potter.  Of course it's all in our heads, but that doesn't make it any less real.

 

YOU NEED TO THINK POSITIVE

Believe me, if I could snap my fingers and make everything rainbows and butterflies don't you think I would have by now.

 

YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF YOURSELF AND GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY.

I'll get right on that, after my mind stops making everything in the world the end of the world. If you had a broken leg, would you like it if someone said "You should get out of yourself and go run a marathon"?  Yeah, didn't think so.

 

MEDITATION AND YOGA ARE ALL YOU NEED

If I could get my brain to shut up long enough to meditate that might be true, but alas, I cannot.  So please, keep your hippy dippy stuff to yourself! (lol, I had to!)

 

GET A NEW JOB

Yeah, cause the economy is good enough for that.

 

DO YOU WANT TO FEEL BETTER?

no, I want to feel down and dark the rest of my life. Thanks for asking - idiot!

 

EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS

Yes, and some peoples problems are bigger than others.  Right now, mine are pretty darn big, even though you can't see it and might not understand it.

 

NO ONE EVER SAID THAT LIFE WAS FAIR

I'm not asking for life to be fair. I'm just asking that you support me while my mind thinks EVERYTHING is unfair, k?

 

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I WAS DEPRESSED ONCE FOR SEVERAL DAYS.

Well, you're several days came and went a LONG time ago. I've been depressed for YEARS, so you honestly have NO IDEA how I feel.  Stop trying to make yourself feel better.

 

And that's how I reply to all of those statements. 

 

Depression is not something we choose. It's something we are forced to deal with.  Some handle it better than others, but that doesn't mean any one person is worse than the others. It just means their battle is different. Stop trying to change them.  Be there for them to talk to, or cry on your shoulder, without having any judgment. THAT is what we really need.

 

Hope everyone has an awesome day
LATER TATER
LYNZ

8 Things people say to the mentally ill........

Pardon the language, but this is how I feel too!

...and why you can all go fuck yourselves.          

1. "Everyone has _____________" (mood swings, trouble focusing, anxiety, depression, paranoia etc...).

-No everyone OCCASIONALLY gets that. Like everyone occasionally catches a cold. If your nose was leaking day in/day out EVERY fucking day of your life and someone called you a bitch for complaining about it because "I get sniffles too" you'd also have an attitude.

2. "Well now that you know you have it why don't you just ________________ when you feel it coming on?"

-This is commonly used for things like mood swings, anger, paranoia etc. and it has one fatal flaw. A chronic illness is just that: CHRONIC. It's never "coming on", IT IS ALWAYS ON. When someone has a meltdown it isn't that they were sane a minute ago. It's that they were fighting it and fighting it and fighting it until they broke. It's like the straw that broke the camel's back.

3. "Did you take your meds?"

-This is often used in response to things like arguments, being forgetful or any emotional outburst. Speaking from experience it's really insulting to be considered a hazard. Respond to what I'm doing or saying and if you're using this line as leverage for your argument then I take full responsibility for bitchslapping you. It wasn't the illness.

4. "Every moment spent unhappy is 60 seconds you'll never get back"

-Don't you think I fucking know that? From a neurological standpoint deciding to feel happy makes as much sense as jumping in ice water and deciding to feel warm.

5. "Medication isn't natural/Why don't you look for a natural solution?"

-Why don't you take a shit in the woods? This is the only type of medical problem where you're commonly told to avoid a medical solution. How would you feel if your daughter was killed by an allergic reaction where the people in attendance refused to administer an epipen because "it isn't natural"? X-rays aren't natural, electro-cardiograms aren't natural, penicillin isn't natural! Hell If you're reading this then you have an internet connection and you've missed the boat on natural.

6. "Can't you see that _________ (usually partying, using drugs/alcohol) is just making it worse?"

-If only one thing took your mind off of chronic discomfort you'd still do it even if it made it worse in the long run. When you have an itch do you NEVER scratch it? For the most part when the mentally ill take drugs and alcohol they aren't doing it for fun, they're doing it for distraction and the only thing that creates that distraction is pain. Notice how much of those drugs/alcohol they need? For the most part what they're really doing is cutting. They're trying to create a physical pain to distract from their emotional pains.

7. "I know a few people with _______ and they can control it"

-There's degrees to it; and they're often concurrent. Just because your friend was able to get over his PTSD by taking celexa and doing DBT doesn't mean I owe it to you to be over mine the same way.

8. "Ok today is really important so you need to be..."

-I can't be any less bipolar just because you're catering a wedding. A better way to word that is "Today is really important so how are you feeling? Is there anyone here who triggers you? Did you sleep well? etc.." I'm not saying that it's your responsibility to deal with my issues but if you're gonna make it your business then don't act like you don't have time for me to be ill today. You wouldn't tell someone with Parkinson's that you're taking wedding pics today and that you really need them to stop shaking.
As an addendum I just wanna say that I'm not saying that being mentally ill means that I'm not responsible for my own actions. My emotional state has lost me A LOT of friends, girlfriends, jobs etc.. and looking back I can't really say that I begrudge the ones that left/fired me. I know I'm gonna get a lot of flack for saying this but I think they did the right thing. Nobody owes me the willingness to accept my problems just as I don't owe it to anyone to accept their personality flaws. If I stop being friends with someone because of their addiction then that's my right but statements like these just reinforce some really archaic beliefs.

And last but not least

One I've always regretted leaving out because I've heard it AT LEAST 10 times but only from mental health professionals is

"You gotta want the medication/therapy to work"

-Why? If I took a vaccine or wore a cast would I have to want them to work? And you've figured me out man I just made this appointment, took time off work, drove down here, paid for parking, waited in the lobby and saw you for the three shots of stale/lukewarm coffee in a tiny styrofoam cup. You fucking got me man! I never wanted this to work in the first place!
Thanks again.

Some questions to get your brain working this morning

HERE ARE SOME INTERESTING QUESTIONS TO GET YOUR BRAIN WORKING THIS MORNING, HEHE.  SOME OF THEM ARE ACTUALLY PRETTY INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT, YA KNOW?

 

Do married people really live longer than single people, or does it just seem longer?

 Does the postman deliver his own mail?

 Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue?

 Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?

 If quitters never win, why do they tell us to quit while we're ahead? ...

 Why aren't lawyers sworn in during trials? 

 Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?

 Can you "stare off into space" when you're in space?

 Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?

 If something "goes without saying", why do people still say it? 

 How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall, but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?

 Do Dutch people always split the bill? 

 Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

 Why does a dog get mad at you when you blow in his face, but stick his head out the window when you take him for a car ride?

 If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from? 

 Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?

 If you lick the air, does it get wet? 

 If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

 When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

 Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 

 Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?

 How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? 

 Who coined the phrase, "coined the phrase"?

 

Sorry I disappeared

I know it's been over two weeks since I posted something on here, and for that I'm sorry.  Life just went a little crazy.  Heck, it's still crazy, but that's life right?

 

I've been working on my house, trying to get it cleaned and organized before the end of the month (and with this house, that's going to be a challenge, lol.  It's so much smaller and it's hard finding places for everything.).  And I've been trying to finish getting my girls enrolled in K-12, which is proving to be a challenge all it's own cause they are a little picky about what you submit.  I will get it done, probably tomorrow.  It's just driving me crazy.  I'm excited though.  Excited to be homeschooling them, and excited for all the time I'll get to spend with my littles!  That makes me super happy!  I've wanted to do this for a few years, and this is the first real chance I've had to do so.  So it's going to be a challenge, but it will totally be worth it.

 

I had my Red Rock appointment today.  And they didn't change a lot. Just the med I take for my nightmares, since the other one doesn't seem to be working anymore. I've been having more and more nightmares the last couple weeks.  So that makes me happy that we are able to try something new!

 

I also had a Neurologist appointment last week, and she's pretty sure that I have more lesions from the MS.  She wants me to try to find a way to have another MRI done so we can see for sure.  So i've got to figure that out somehow. I'm pretty sure I can get it done through the MSAA, but we will just have to see what happens  I'm back on my MS meds though, so that helps a TON!  I still have quite a bit of pain, but the gabapentin helps with the nerve pain, so that helps a lot!  I've got to finish my paperwork for disability and get it to my lawyer so we can get the ball rolling on my hearing.  The sooner we can get that taken care of the sooner we can finally get my disability and I can finally get to a regular doctor on a regular basis. That will be a lifesaver!

 

We are planning a BBQ for the first (or maybe second) week of August. It's going to be awesome!  Gonna have friends over, probably play some games, and just hang out and eat awesome food.  I know it's going to be a good end to the summer.

 

We do have some stress going on right now. We are short on being able to pay the Rent for this month, so we are having to figure that out.  It's exhausting, and frankly stresses me out like crazy!  Hubby says I shouldn't worry cause he has back up plans for his back up plans, so I'm trying really hard not to stress out, but it's hard.  I guess we will see what happens.  I have to have faith that it's all going to work out in the end.  :)  I love this house, and would be devastated if we lost it because we couldn't pay the rent for one month.  Cause all we have to do is make it through July and we will be home free.  Guess we will see huh?

 

I've been reading a lot lately.  Been reading the Egyptian novels by Rick Riordian, and they are pretty darn good if you ask me.  I read through the first one pretty quick, and now I'm on to the second one.  There are 3 books out for it right now (I believe that's all there are, I need to look that up).  So I got all 3 the last time I went to the library.  And I also got the spiderwick chronicles first 5 books that I'm going to read after I finish with the Egyptian ones.  Should be pretty good. 

 

This weekend we are going to be playing DC heroes again. I'm excited. I really have a good time playing with friends.  Especially the storyline we are playing now. It's lots of fun. 

 

Today has been crazy with my girlies.  I don't think either one of them slept well last night, and they are both grumpy and fighting with each other a lot.  HOPEFULLY I can get dinner done early and they can go to bed early, cause I can't handle another day like this. Shesh!

 

I've also been playing some Guild Wars 2 mapping out some of the harder areas to map out.  ALMOST done with the one I'm doing now, and then I'll just have one more area in Orr.  Shouldn't be too hard. And they took out the WvW maps, so that makes things a heck of a lot easier.

 

Anyway, it's about time to go get hubby from work. I am SOO glad that he likes his new job, and that some days he gets home pretty early (like today, he will be home before 3:30!).  It makes me happy, and it's helped a TON with my mental issues having him home more in the afternoon/ evenings!  So YAY!

 

Hope everyone has had an awesome 2 weeks. I will try to make sure to post more often. Lets just hope life stops being CRAZY in the meantime!  lol.

 

Anyway

LATER TATER

 

LYNZ