Introductions

My name is Lyndsey.

I am 32 years old.

I have Bipolar disorder

I have PTSD

And I have MS

 

This is my journey.

 

I will be posting here as often as I can.  Life sometimes gets in the way, so it might be a few days between posts, but I promise I won't leave you alone.

 

I was diagnosed with MS a year and a half ago.  I woke up one morning and my eyes wouldn't cooperate, and I had double and blurred vision.  And on top of that, I was numb from the waist down.  I still, to this day, fight with my eyes not cooperating, and with my legs going weak and tingly.  I fight with chronic pain - from a disease that so many thing is a painless disease - and I get no real help for the pain.  It's frustrating, to say the least.

But the way I look at it is this:

MS won't kill me.

It just changes the way I do things.

 

I was diagnosed with PTSD right around 6 months ago.  But I'd struggled with it for over 13 years. I was ashamed of it, and never really told anybody about it.  It was a silent struggle for me that I fought for so many years.  It finally reached a point where I couldn't do it anymore, and I was prepared to commit suicide. I had it all planned out, had written my note, and was ready to go. Thank GOD that one of my friends knew something was up, and that very night showed up at my door and talked me down - even physically fighting me for the thing I was going to use.  I am SO beyond blessed to have such amazing people in my life that are there for me when I felt completely alone.  The final push was a friend of mine that is a deputy in the sheriffs department.  He knew something was up, and he basically told me "you get help, or I get help for you" and his help would have been having me committed.  And I didn't want that.  So I made the phone call, and started my journey to recovery.

 

I am now getting help

and I'm thankful for that every day.

 

I was officially diagnosed with Bipolar disorder about 3 months ago.  I was SUPER manic, not sleeping more than 2 or so hours a night. My mind was going so fast that I couldn't catch my own thoughts, let alone have a conversation with someone else.  I struggled just to function and take care of my responsibilities. But thankfully, I had already started getting help for my PTSD, and that doctor diagnosed it and gave me a medicine to help with it as well. 

 

I still fight with the symptoms

but they grow less and less each day

 

This is my battle.  This is what I fight on a day to day basis.  I am DONE hiding it from the world.  I have grown to where I can admit that something is wrong.  I have grown to where I can admit when I need help. And I have grown to where I can tell people "I'm sorry, I can't do that today".  There are some days where it's harder than others. I won't lie.  But I know there are SO MANY wonderful people out there helping me.  And SO MANY who are willing to step up and help me whenever they can.  And that means the world to me. I wouldn't be where I am today without all the amazing people in my life. 

 

So THANK YOU

Thank you more than I can put into words.

I wouldn't be here today if not for you

 

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I want this to be a place where people can share their stories - their journeys- as well.  So please, if you are dealing with something, share your story with us as well. 

 

This is a safe place.  This is a place where we can see that we are not alone.  This is a place where we can be open, and honest, and not hide ourselves away anymore.  Share your story in the comments below.  I want to hear them!

 

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I am also going to do a photo series on here.  Going to share some photos of my day to day life with you guys.  The simple, beautiful, sometimes strange things that I see in my day to day life.  And if you have a photo you'd like to share, just post it in the comments below too.  I want to see them all!

 

I have started this to be a community. A place where we can all come and gather and share our stories with each other. A place where we can see that we are NOT ALONE in this battle.

 

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The first thing I am going to share though is a video. It's from another site that I just found today, and I love it.  So just take a second and watch. I promise it won't let you down.

 

 

 

The website is I KNOW I KNOW

Give it a look.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this

Lots of love and hugs to you all.

 

LYNZ