Dear past me......

My life has always been interesting.  There have always been things that were going badly, and also things that were going well.  So this is to my past self....

 

DEAR PAST ME

The things that happened to you are not your fault.  They are a culmination of things in your life.  People, places, things, etc, all ha a part in making you who you are today.

 

You are stronger because of the bad things in your life

 

You are happier because of the good things

 

You have amazing friends and family who are there for you through everything you are going through.   The love you, just the way you are, even when you don't love yourself.

 

And yes, recently you've lost some friends.  But in the grand scheme of things that's not a bad thing. The people you have lost weren't worth having in your life in the first place.  Yes, it is hard. It is EXTREMELY hard.  But you are better off without the fake people in your life.  The ones you have left are huge.  The ones you have left are the people who really matter.  The ones you have left are the ones who still believe in you no matter how crazy life gets.

 

It's ok that it took FOREVER to finally get the diagnosis of Bipolar, and the diagnosis of PTSD.  That is ok.  I know it would have been easier if you'd gotten the diagnosis earlier, but you didn't, and there's no reason to sit and hate yourself for it.  It's ok that you didn't get the diagnosis of MS until you were 30. That's actually average. 

 

Be thankful for those people in your life who really matter. The ones that are there for you when you're being a bitch, or you are super depressed.  The ones that understand that "I'm fine" means so much more than those two words.  The ones that see the beauty in yourself despite the ugly exterior you have painted on to try to push people away.  THEY MATTER THE MOST! They show you how special you are.  They give you a hand up, and a shoulder to cry on.  They sit down beside you (maybe not physically, but emotionally and mentally too) when you can't seem to find the strength to stand up.  They are the ones that are there for you when you "jump off that bridge" to save you from yourself.  LOVE THEM!  Show them how much you care because there may come a day when you can't bring yourself to show the words, and they will be able to hear them anyway.

 

<(:)><(:)>(:)>

 

Ok, time to head off to my med appointment.  Hope everyone is having an awesome day.

 

LATER TATER
LYNZ